Letting go of the things that are not serving you or adding joy to your world is one of the most powerful ways to improve your emotional wellbeing and happiness levels. Although I am a huge believer in the concept of loosening your grip on life and surrendering more than holding on tight, there are definitely some things in life worth holding onto.
It has taken me many years, lots of practice and a certain degree of discipline to refine the art of letting go. It can sometimes feel as though our natural instinct is to hold onto things, and with age and wisdom comes the ability to work out what is not actually meant for us. Herein lies the magic of learning to let go of those things and creating the space and freedom for what is meant for you.
There are some things in life that you may want to hold onto, even this can be done gently and without force. The concept of gentleness is not about taking away your power. There is power in the flow of life. A gentle approach does not mean that you are weak, I would like to think that I am a gentle warrior in many ways. I will fight as a Mother, for the safety and wellbeing of my child, I will speak up for what I believe in. I am also kind and gentle in my nature these days.
I have learned some of the most beautiful things to hold onto, and I have learned all about those less beautiful things that can be let go to create a sense of space and freedom:
10 THINGS TO HOLD ONTO:
♡ YOUR CHILDREN
Hold onto their hands for as long as you can, hold onto the sound of their sweet little voices, their milestones and the daily joys. It is not always about the big things with parenting, some days become long and exhausting and it is so easy to wish the time away. I know that I have wished many away and one day may regret not being able to get them back. Your children are children of the universe, they are here for a reason and as parents we can only really hold onto them for so long. Do it gently, allowing them to become who they are destined to be while holding onto the things that make them unique.
♡ LIFE LESSONS
Life is not always pretty, it can break you in many ways. At times I have honestly wondered about the point of it all. The lessons to be found in the darkest of times can become the key to your ‘why’ if you know how to find them and hold onto them. Grief and loss are often overwhelming, mental illness exhausting and trauma simply unbearable. There is a tipping point in the midst of these things, for me it comes when I remember the power of hope and my track record for turning things around. I have survived so many of these dark depths that it has now become a little easier to recognise that tipping point. It has become a big part of my purpose to find the lessons and share them. The lessons can become your hope and your guide.
♡ THE UPLIFTING, LOYAL PEOPLE
The people who lift you up no matter what are the ones you really need to hold onto. I found myself not being understood by those who I thought were these ones. As I started to really dig deep into some of my healing, and I got more honest with myself and those around me I lost a lot of my people. Anxiety can be crippling, it can take away the parts of you that people have come to know and love, and it just becomes too hard for some. For me it became too hard for many.
♡ YOUR DREAMS
They don’t need to be huge, they just need to be yours. Never let go of them, keep them in your thoughts when you are making decisions big and small. What lights you up, what gets you up in the morning, when do you feel a sense of flow and purpose? This is where your dreams and your magic live. Find that little sweet spot and explore it, be forever curious about it and hold onto the things that you want to achieve, no matter how small they may seem.
“We are all in these bodies to know what love is.” I carry this quote in my heart although I cannot remember who wrote these words originally. I know that it is over used, the cause of our greatest pain and at times seems like far from enough to get us through the day. I honestly believe that it is at the heart of everything good. It is one of the few things that you can give away and get back in abundance. Always come back to love.
10 THINGS TO LET GO:
As a parent this can be relentless. I recently missed out on booking tickets for my 7 year old to see his favourite Youtuber when he is in Sydney this October. I cried, and then spent the rest of the day beating myself up about it. Until my rational self returned and I realised that this was a day I could have spent more lovingly! We are our own harshest critics and we really need to let go of the guilt and the nastiness towards ourselves.
♡ THE TOXIC PEOPLE
As wisdom and maturity replace the more fickle parts of your younger years, the toxic people come into much clearer focus. You most likely spend time with some of these people and as a fellow empath who just wants to love everyone, I understand that it is super hard to let them go. Speaking up with you are carrying toxic feelings is one of the hardest things to do and it hurts everyone involved. At times it is a matter of self care and self preservation though.
This one is still very much a work in progress for me. I honestly don’t think that my expectations are high, yet they continue to cause me much deep pain. It is another really tricky one, and it is also another one that comes with such freedom when surrendered! Rely on yourself more, focus on gratitude, and expectations become much less of a thing.
♡ TOO MUCH STUFF
I have pretty much embraced this one now, although some days the boho side of me gathers a few things in a pile and remembers the days before I gave most of our stuff away to charity. The sense of calm and peace at home home is hugely important when you live with relentless anxiety. Less stuff = more clarity and greater emotional wellbeing for me and in turn for my little person, who also struggles with anxiety. I wrote about the giving away of the stuff here.
It really is the thief of joy, and also one of the hardest habits to break. You only need to spend a few minutes scrolling your unedited social media feeds to fall into the comparison trap. The effects on your emotional wellbeing are pretty much instant and unlike your feed they are not pretty. Take the time regularly to curate your feeds, unfollow the sources that are causing you more harm than good, use them as a source of positivity and learning rather than just a meaningless barrage of other people’s highlight reels.
I would love to know how you go with some of your letting go.