6 Years of Motherhood .. at times it feels surreal, some days it nearly kills me, overall it is achingly beautiful and feels like it has always been a part of me. I really like to celebrate the anniversary of becoming a Mother, as well as the birth-day of my little love. It’s not selfish to share the celebrations as a parent, far from it. It is a beautiful process for remembering who you were before that birth-day, the day that you became a Mother or Father.
My thoughts and reflections at this time are abundant, these feel like some of the most significant:
♡ It can feel as though you are floating all alone on a remote little island sometimes. Although I am a well connected person, always open and sharing as much as I can, there are moments during Motherhood that are simply your own. Some of these are dark and stained with tears, others are immensely joyful and proud. Somewhat sadly in my real world, there are a not a lot of people who take an interest in the daily life we live. There is a handful only, and at times like this weekend when we celebrate, I reflect on why this is the case. I don’t find a lot of answers to be honest.
♡ Blogging has been a really positive part of Motherhood for me. I have learned a lot about the different ways that people feel about parenting, and this has made it easier for me to own my story. Sarcasm, anger and bitterness are not my thing. I have had enough of the yuck and the dark in my past for more than one lifetime, my blog and my parenting are mine and I choose positive. I also choose not to judge, and to avoid (or delete) anything that does not sit well with me.
♡ My own Mother missed out on the role of grandmother, at the age of only 48 she was gone. It is a rare day that I don’t think about her, or about my Nana who I have been missing painfully for more than two years now. She was blessed with 3 years as a great grandparent, and I know that my little man will never forget her. Being a Mother without a Mother is one of the hardest things you can imagine.
♡ Being a good influence is always, always on my mind. I tend to swear a lot in the car, and at 6 years old my little man is the potty mouth police, which I love. He knows all about my work in the charity sector, he is deeply sensitive to his little friends at school and he is feisty and filled with passion. I have learned the hard way that other people may harm your children, some with intention, and others simply because they themselves are so filled with pain that they are blind to much else in this world. Do all that you can to surround your children with love, be their source of goodness and help them build their resilience to protect against the baddies!
♡ Making mistakes and keeping it real is also really important to me, your children will learn so much by you keeping it real. I don’t hide my emotions, sometimes we share tears and only just this weekend during our beautiful 6th birthday celebrations there was also pain and disappointment, which we spoke about together and which we will hopefully always guide each other through. The pain that you feel for your children when they are hurting is pretty much indescribable, let them into your pain so that they can learn about the beauty of sharing emotions and asking for help.
♡ Self care and remembering who you were before you were a parent is the key to survival, and to thriving! Guilt is useless, I learned that the hard way like many other things in life. Becoming a single parent and adjusting to full weekends away from your child teaches you about the power of self care, the importance of solitude, and learning to love yourself. As a parent you must not let yourself lose sight of what makes you you, and this does not mean that you neglect the part of you that adores being a parent, it actually means that you nurture it.