Reflecting on the blog that I am leaving behind prompted me to spend some time exploring the years of sharing that I poured wholeheartedly into Soulo Mamma. The inconsistency of my posts (I pledge to be far more frequent here!) I feel is far outweighed by the consistency of my authenticity and commitment to keeping it real.
There are pages and pages of my heart and soul laid bare, always with the same intention..to reach anyone and everyone who needed to know that they are not alone. The majority of those years I navigated the world as a newly single Mum, working several jobs and slowly creating a space from scratch for my precious little boy and I to call home. The tears, and the learnings, were monumental!
The ability to look back on a tragedy, a loss, a challenge of any sort and see through eyes that have healed, a heart that has been broken and patched up—this is the ability to grow and become a person who is shaped by the darkness.
So by taking this time to look back, gather some of the words I have shared, through eyes that have healed..I hope to grow just that little bit more, by opening my heart even further and reaching out. I hope that this collection of excerpts from my old blog make it to where they are needed most:
It is OK to take time out from Motherhood, it is in fact more than just OK, it is a good idea. We were strong, amazing women before we were Mothers. Motherhood is of course my greatest role, but just like my other great roles, I take time out. I wouldn’t work for an entire year in any of my roles without taking some leave!
It’s OK to have days when you’re not OK.
HOPE is the sense of a better tomorrow, knowing that I will be able to put one foot in front of the other. Make it outside of my home, chase the dreams that are still alive. Raise a little person who knows about happiness, who remembers my laughter more often than my tears.
Depression is real, it just is. I am passionate about educating others, removing the stigma and ensuring that one day, nobody on this earth feels that ‘get a life’ is an appropriate response to someone sharing that they are living with depression.
Depression is not a sign of weakness.
Grief and Loss
The choice to regret or rejoice is not an easy one, and personally I think that letting go of something or someone is also a process that we need to explore at our own pace. To rejoice in what we have had during a time of loss is certainly a wonderful way to ensure that we can carry on with our precious memories and hope for the future.
An essential part of the grieving process is belongings, the essence of a person is in the things that they have left behind. Although we tend to dismiss ‘things’ as irrelevant it is these tangible pieces of our grieving that allow us to hold onto our memories and feel the person we are missing.
She (my Naturopath) told me to try and send nothing but love and light to the people who have caused me pain…because holding onto and churning over my thoughts about the pain would only cause me more pain.
Spending time, savouring the moments with our children, this is such an important part of their childhood, the real memory making. Our children will not remember the gifts that we buy them as much as they will remember the way that we made them feel in the moments spent together.
Single parenting is an achingly beautiful, complex and intense experience. As I have shared on several occasions, it was not my intention to parent alone. However it is a situation that I have embraced and now consider one of my very special life purposes.
Children give hospitals the most overwhelming sense of new life, they can clear a room of fear and loneliness with a little smile or giggle. I always make sure that the car is packed with extra bits and pieces for these visits, pencils and paper, activity books, favourite stories and toys. It is often the simple signs of life that can change the hospital experience for everyone.
Foods for Mental Health
The foods that I have found to assist me with my mood and to work alongside my medical treatment are those that provide slow release energy and those that are particularly good for the brain. I find that pasta is a real comfort for me, the carbohydrates seem to give me a sense of being “full” in the body and the mind. I also LOVE fresh salmon and combining this with foods that awaken my senses such as chilli, lemon, rocket and garlic.
Listen to your gut! Intuition is a wonderful thing, if you have a strong grasp on your own values and use your common sense then this will help to navigate your way through the complexities!
The Big Life Lessons
We only truly live if we put ourselves out there, and I mean right out there, in amongst the scary and the uncertain. Playing it safe is OK if you are happy existing, if you want to LIVE then you need to face your fears, fall, fall again and pick yourself up.
Being kind to others will lift you up. Possibly one of the most significant lessons and also one of my favourite personal wellbeing strategies, if you are stuck in your mucky funk, simply spread some kindness to others and it will change things for you, I promise!
Every little act of kindness makes a difference. The plans, projects and passions that we release into the world are shaping the future, for our children and their children. These passions are reaching people in the here and now too, providing hope where it is most needed and shining light into the darkness. Never underestimate your own power, your ability to make a difference.