Life Lessons, Mental Health

Keeping it Real – 10 Things I’m Afraid to Tell You

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In a gentle way you can help others, through the simple act of sharing. Is there something you have been through, or a thought that seems to be on a persistent loop? The act of sharing and keeping it real online can be one of the bravest and most selfless acts even though it also benefits you! It is actually quite therapeutic to get that persistent thought out! I would go so far as to say it is incredibly freeing! I didn’t start blogging so that I could ‘dump’ all of my worries out into the interwebs, far from it! It does need to be done with a bit of consideration, and a whole lot of love!

I invite you to share just one thing in the comments after you have seen the things I am currently scared to tell you but am going to tell you anyway! In the spirit of vulnerability, connection and opening up the tough conversations.

♡ Some days my panic attacks are crippling! They can rise out of nowhere at any moment and there is just no warning on most occasions. In the past few months they have increased and surprised me at my desk in the office, in the car, trying to get to sleep at night and other incredibly random moments. There is nothing more frightening, unwelcome or difficult.

♡ I am not financially savvy, and nor do I have any sort of smart money plan (yet). At the age of 43 I often feel ashamed of this and wish that things were different. The reality is that my life has not taken any of the ‘standard’ paths and I am where I am. Yes I have regrets, and I could have spent less on some of the things that fed my addictions and darkest years. I forgive myself, most days. I am actively working through the Barefoot Investor book and it really is never too late to make a change for the better.

♡ As much as I adore and strive for kindness as a trait, there are days when I am a bit of a bitch. I can be snappy at work if my emotions get the better of me, I am a perfectionist and I sometimes wish I was a more patient Mamma.

♡ A tiny little mouse wandered through my kitchen the other night and I totally lost my shit. I actually sat frozen on the couch for over half an hour and then cried, ugly tears. I can handle cancer, death, mental illness and all the big topics, I cannot handle a harmless little mouse. So much so that I had to eventually reach for my phone and text my ex to come and find it. I think that the mouse reminded me that I am on my own, there is nobody here to take out the garbage, deal with the spiders and other unwanted house guests that come with living in a little cottage near the ocean and bush.

♡ I buy way too many books when I really should go to the library. I am a library snob, and cannot get enough of those Book Depository parcels turning up on the doorstep filled with their new book aromas. Yes, I smell new books. I also smell new magazines and other printed materials. Don’t judge me, please.

♡ My brother was my best friend up until about 3 years ago. My little man and I have not heard from him in almost 3 years. I cannot even believe it. I have no idea why he does not want us in his life anymore and if I allow myself to think too much about it, it is actually unbearable.

♡ I want to blog more often, in my bloggy dreams I blog 3 times a week.

♡ Since moving to the Central Coast 5 months ago, I have not missed Sydney much at all. Yes my heart will always belong to Bondi. It is there that I spent 20 years of my life and made the most treasured memories. It was also there that the darkest memories live and sometimes you are just better off from the scene of those.

♡ I think that my neat and organised tendencies are getting worse with age. I don’t leave the house without making our beds, not even if we are running late for school or work, I am the stealth bed maker.

♡ I still hold into hope that I will find love, and have another baby.

Will you share something too?

with-joy-lisa

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6 Comments

  • Reply TheNutFactory July 22, 2017 at 4:29 pm

    My anxiety often comes out as anger and more often than I’d like to admit my kids get the rough end of this. It’s something I need to change but I don’t know how and I feel pretty crappy about that.

    • Reply admin October 10, 2017 at 12:43 pm

      It is so hard, I have found that mine can manifest as anger too 🙁
      You’re not alone and I am sure doing the best you can, please be gentle on yourself too xx

  • Reply sarahdipity.com.au June 10, 2017 at 7:38 pm

    Lisa, I love this! Thankyou for sharing, turns out we share a lot of dirty little secrets lol…panic attacks, wanting to blog more, being a bit OCD when it comes to tidiness. And, I hope you do find love again one day, you deserve happiness x

    • Reply admin June 12, 2017 at 9:09 pm

      I love that we share some of these scary things! xx
      Thank you for sharing!

  • Reply Sammie @ The Annoyed Thyroid June 9, 2017 at 9:44 pm

    You’re the best for starting open, honest conversations. I’m about to crack open the Barefoot Investor, I actually just bought it but lately I’ve been going to the library, in the spirit of being more minimalist and saving money! I totally feel your fear about the mouse, our flat in London was full of them and they seemed only to make an appearance if I was home alone. And yes, I am a daily bed maker too. As for moods, I don’t think you have to strive for perfection, I think you have to strive for being real, and no one does that better than you!

    • Reply admin June 12, 2017 at 9:10 pm

      Thank you for always sharing your most beautiful responses to my honesty Sammie xx

    Your words matter, I would love to hear your thoughts xx