Lately has not been pretty .. it has been far from perfect, and I have not felt much joy at all.
Eeek, not the most positive start to one of my posts! You know what though, I am all about keeping it real. Yes at first glance my blog may appear neat, pretty and ‘together.’ I see it as a bit of a metaphor in that sense, not all is as it appears, in a blog or in a person. Always take a closer look before you make a judgement.
We are all guilty of passing judgement quickly, it has certainly taken me many years to let go of that instinct and bring some mindfulness into the way that I look at others, and the world. It really does change things if you are able to create some space between your thoughts and your reactions.
So, lately has been difficult. My blog is my safe space, my outlet for the creativity and urge to share through words that fills me with purpose and butterflies. The reality is that life sucks sometimes. Life presents us with decisions that we would rather run and hide from, being an adult is hard! I have recently made one of the toughest decisions, ever. It has involved breaking some hearts, one of them mine, and one of them my precious son’s.
It is early days, it is all still very raw. The words are swirling in my head while my heart is broken and I am slowly, slowly crawling back into my beautiful and blessed life. I have learned that sitting with our emotions is essential, unpacking and living in the darkness of grief and loss is not though. In fact it is important to avoid doing that!
So for now I am working on the sitting, taking steps to avoid the unpacking, and I am deep in the process of self care and the healing of our hearts. Please don’t judge me, or anyone else for that matter, ever. I am a strong, resilient person who has been given the tools through tragedy to be able to rebuild. It is not the case for everyone though, and you never know who is hiding behind a seemingly ‘together’ blog or life.
Always take a closer look, always speak with kindness and please never assume, anything. I share where I am right now, with the honesty that I do, because I know that there will be someone else who is here in this darkness right now too. If that is you, please know that you are not alone, please remember that you are loved. If it is someone you suspect or know is here too, please reach out and let them know that they are not alone.