Life Lessons

Notes On How to Survive a Loss

Broken Open

These insanely beautiful words are from a book called Broken Open by Elizabeth Lesser. Loss is not a particularly ‘beautiful’ topic, it is something that we will all experience though. Loss is a part of life, everything is temporary. I am filled equally with purpose and pain to call myself an expert on the topic. Loss varies from the regular and rather minor to the big ones that shake you to your core.

Some of my notes on loss:

♡ Your loss does not define you. It does have the power to shape you in positive ways beyond the pain.

♡ It’s healthy to sit with your emotions, allow yourself to feel all of it. Just don’t sit there for too long, I know it can be tempting and somehow strangely comforting in that space.

♡ If you are looking for an opportunity, or a sign that something needs to change, a loss is most likely exactly that. Depending on the severity of the loss, it can provide any variety of clean slate by creating some clarity.

♡ Reach out for help. It can be such an isolating experience, especially if you have lost a loved one. It is not a sign of weakness to admit that you need help. It is a sign of self respect and to allow others into your pain is such a beautiful thing. I learned this the hard way, and its still a work in progress actually.

♡ Letting go is also a type of loss. At times this is the best thing to do in certain situations, whether it be letting go of things, people, beliefs, expectations.

♡ Try amidst your pain to see a loss as a cleansing, wiping you clean.

♡ Remember that everyone deals with loss in their own ways. Do not judge anyone during a time of loss.

♡ Be a support where you can to others living through a loss. Offer your support, offer to listen if they need to talk, or offer your practical support.

♡ I read once that grief and loss is the price we pay for love and that the pain is worth it when we love deeply.

♡ Have you ever journalled about a loss? I find that reflecting with some free writing on some of my losses often allows me to revisit some of my pain and then also the memories and ultimately the positive ways that the loss has affected me.

If you are in the midst of a loss, please know that you are not alone xx

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September 24, 2015
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