I knew that it was going to be a weekend of reflection, powerful emotions and maybe even a whole lot of ugly tears! So I carefully planned our time around this. If you live with anxiety and depression, you most likely know your triggers .. the things, the occasions and the feelings that can alert you to take extra care of yourself.
Mothers Day is loaded at the best of times, add in the recent loss of my blended family, the absence of my step children and the warning signs were loud and clear! I have a deeply ingrained resilience though, since the experience of being a Carer from the age of 16 this is one of my greatest and most powerful blessings. It tends to kick in automatically now, along with the optimism and energy to pull myself out of the darkness.
Motherhood is my other incredible blessing, and although it is not always pretty, and a 5 year old is not capable of making breakfast in bed .. this weekend became all about the moments. I am not a big fan of scheduling the crap out of life with a 5 year old. It is hard work at the best of times, single parenting and working. My belief is that free time, the quiet and intimate moments together and not being rushed is more important for us than activities such as sport, classes or planned outings at this age.
It is especially important as a single parent, to focus the time on being together in the true sense of this concept. You have plenty of time to commit to sports and other regular activities in the years to come.
So this weekend we spent a little time at our favourite market, we walked a little, spent plenty of time on our daybed with books and pencils, we watched a few movies, talked about who we missed on Mothers Day, soaked up some Autumn sunshine and simply enjoyed the little home we love so much.
It is entirely possible to just be with a 5 year old, to allow them the space to play quietly on their own as well as together. The playstation and his adventure games are also enjoyed while I spent some time on my blog and my study. It is times like this that a gentle approach works best for us.
I am reminded lately of the huge importance that listening carefully to your intuition plays in the way you feel about yourself and life in general. If you need a slow weekend to reflect, conserve energy and to be reminded of the importance of the quiet moments then you should honour this need. ‘Busy’ is not a sign of worthy, or loved or important, it is quite the opposite.