I Had an Epiphany Today .. triggered by this post that Chantelle recently wrote.
I have been hiding, trying to be smaller too. Hiding behind baggy clothes, unshaven legs, teeth that need fixing, extra weight and other ‘deterrents’. I have been craving invisibility, wanting the world to look away.
It is a topic close to my heart .. and one that continues to teach me so many valuable lessons. Being a good friend to someone who lives with anxiety, depression or any mental health concerns is not easy. As I have shared in the past, I have been a crap friend on many occasions, and there is only so many times you can handle the rejection of unanswered calls and lack of interest in invites and occasions. Or is there?
If you are able to take a step back and truly accept that it is not personal if your calls go unanswered, and your friend suddenly seems less interested in the things that you always did together, this will be your first step towards being a good friend to someone living with depression. It has nothing to do with you, please hold onto this one vital piece of information!
At times I have needed this reminder, and by that I mean at many times! Blogging is a chance for me to use my voice to reach into the darkest places and shine some light. I know that there are lots of people out there sitting in the darkness. So this message is for you. It is a simple yet profoundly personal reminder, that you are going to be OK. It may not feel that way right now, and it may not feel that way tomorrow either.
Today I started some deeply personal work with a new Psychologist, and I was reminded of the expanse of my own experience of trauma. The work is going to shake me to my core, it is also going to call on my mammoth reserves of power and resilience. I have been in the darkest darkness, over and over again. I have come out the other side when I thought that it was not possible.
Hold onto hope. Please, please put your hand up and ask for help. Remember that you are loved, you belong here and you will come out the other side xx
Image credit: my beautiful friend Nikki and her candles.