I Had an Epiphany Today .. triggered by this post that Chantelle recently wrote.
I have been hiding, trying to be smaller too. Hiding behind baggy clothes, unshaven legs, teeth that need fixing, extra weight and other ‘deterrents’. I have been craving invisibility, wanting the world to look away.
Learning is one of my things. I have always been a bit of a nerd, spending loads of time in the library when I was at school, nose buried in a book at every opportunity. Learning is a sport to me, I love nothing more than immersing myself in an online course or a face to face workshop. The growth and the chance to expand your mind and your view of the world is a little bit addictive don’t you think?
Then there are the connections to be found amidst your fellow learners. It is often the perfect place to nurture beautiful friendships that are based on passions, personal breakthroughs and flourishing new projects. The sisterhood is alive and well within the abundance of heart centred courses and learning opportunities out there!
I have cried a lot lately. Tears for the part of me that aches to put my little family back together. Tears for the pieces of my heart that are longing to be put back together. Tears for the pain of missing so many people, some of them lost long ago yet whose presence right now would help to hold me up.
There is a small part of me that has been so concerned with appearances, and optimism and being an ‘inspiration’ that almost convinced me to keep this all to myself.
Yet this is my truth right now, and being authentic is more important.