Life Lessons Mental Health

The Hardest Blog Post to Write .. aka Keeping it Real!

keeping it real

 

I have cried a lot lately. Tears for the part of me that aches to put my little family back together. Tears for the pieces of my heart that are longing to be put back together. Tears for the pain of missing so many people, some of them lost long ago yet whose presence right now would help to hold me up.

There is a small part of me that has been so concerned with appearances, and optimism and being an ‘inspiration’ that almost convinced me to keep this all to myself.

Yet this is my truth right now, and being authentic is more important.

Do you ever question yourself so brutally, in a way that you would never inflict on another? In a way it is a good thing to look back on the glaringly obvious thingsΒ that you could have done differently, with the beauty of hindsight! It is not so helpful to punish yourself over and over with your thoughts though.

It is the ability to look back on a loss, a trauma (or any of the ways that life breaks you open) with the aim of digging out the lessons from the pile of pain that you find yourself in .. it is this that gives you the strength and the resolve to pick yourself up and slowly put your own pieces back together.

It can feel like yet another failure. I find myself getting much better at pushing this crazy thought aside, because it is crazy. I am not a failure, you are not a failure. We are all doing the best we can, in every moment.

Life hurts at times, Β and people hurt you, they hurt you because they are hurt.

In the last 6 months I have learned more about myself, I have allowed my pain to be truly, deeply felt. It is often easier to push it aside, it will only come back and demand to be felt though, that’s the thing about pain, it needs to be felt.

So, behind the polished front end of this sacred space lies a lot of pain. It is not a secret that physical and mental pain is my constant companion. I am perfectly capable of keeping them in their place, I have had plenty of practice! It is always my authentic and truly sincere hope that by sharing the hardest things to write I am opening up the conversation for someone else.

I have learned some more of the life lessons that I embrace and welcome into my world over the past 18 months, and I have been reminded of some that I already knew. I have learned that my inner knowing and my intuition can always be trusted. I have learned that holding onto anger and trying to change other people are both ridiculously futile pursuits that will only burn you up from the inside out. I have learned that I am enough.

It continues to fill me with awe that we are capable of so much, that all of the love, light, resilience, strength and learnings are always within us. We just need to get out of our own way, and remove all of the barriers that are holding us back from reaching these things.

You are enough too, and you have all of these things within you too xx

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10 Comments

  • Jenni from Styling Curvy

    So strong, honest and inspiring. Thankyou for sharing xx

    • admin

      Thanks for your support Jen, it was a tough one, but for me its the tough ones that always mean the most xx

  • Leanne Faulkner

    Wow Lisa – look at all the incredible things you have learned during these past 18 months. Some people live a whole lifetime and never come to these realisations. Yes, I agree, sometimes we just have to get out of our own way….allow time to apply the learning. From your words it looks like you are doing that, and your words have highlighted that there is some beauty to come from great pain. Thank you for being so honest and sharing xx

    • admin

      Leanne you are so beautifully right, in so many of your words xx
      It is true that the things I have learned are a blessing, and that there is so much beauty to be found in our pain if we have the capacity to see it!

  • Chelsea

    Such a beautiful, brave post lovely and so deeply relateable as I’ve been facing similar struggles in recent months. I have a post in draft form at the moment about breaking down walls and sharing some of my current struggles. Thankyou for your courage to be vulnerable and share your truth, it is truly inspiring and encouraging to me. Much love to you Lisa. Be kind to yourself xxxxx

    • admin

      Hi Chelsea,
      So grateful for your connection and your sharing on this post, and I hope that you are able to finish your post and embrace your vulnerability too xx
      Much love to you too xx

  • Project Kate

    You are a strong woman Lisa. the pain is hard and consuming but pain is not forever. You will appreciate your happy place that little bit more when you find your way back there. take care, K xx

    • admin

      Thank you Kate xx
      “This too shall pass” is what I was reminded of when reading your beautiful words!

  • lolshelley

    Hi Lisa, I’m so sorry to hear that you are struggling at the moment (sending you a huge cyberhug) but I am also so happy that you shared that on your blog. That is the thing I like about blogs, the light and the dark of people’s lives. Not that I like them to be going through hard times but the fact is we ALL do and these blogs where it’s all roses and sunshine all the time don’t feel genuine. Life is great. Life can also be bloody hard at times. I, like you, value authenticity and am more and more allowing myself to be guided by my intuition. I just gave a friend a book called Broken Open; How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow by Elizabeth Lesser. Elizabeth is the co-founder of the Omega Institute in the US and according to her website, ‘Omega is the world’s largest centre for spiritual retreat and personal growth.’ I have heard her interviewed on Oprah several times and her Super Soul Sunday appearance was what prompted me to buy the book. My friend has been through a divorce and many other difficulties over the past 8 years and I stand in awe of her strength, how she is still standing after having to juggle all that she has had thrown at her. We often say that all these hard times must be teaching her something and Lesser carries that thought further. I hope that the sun shines brightly again for you soon. Shell.x

    • admin

      Hi Shell,
      Thank you so so much for your beautiful response to this slightly difficult post.
      It really is amazing to receive your kindness, and your wonderful thoughts about honesty in blogging.
      I could not agree more that the dark and the light and everything in between, when shared thoughtfully really is magic!
      I am going to hop onto Book Depository now and grab this book that you mention, it sounds perfect xx

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