THE JOY OF KEEPING IT REAL: It’s OK if things are not OK. You don’t have to have your shit together, organised, tidy or perfect. In fact, there is no such thing as a perfect anything, and if someone appears to have their shit together all the time, I worry. If you let go of the concept of perfection and embrace the beauty of imperfection, you will be able to usher in more freedom and release a lot of the pressure that our modern world tends to impose. More freedom equals more joy.
As parents especially, the pressure can be relentless. It is just not necessary! The more real you can be, the more connected you find yourself, rather than the opposite. I worry that a lot of parents these days are not keeping it real. They may in fact be just like the rest of us, doing the best they can in each moment .. yet they feel the need to project a ‘perfect picture to the outside world. Don’t you feel as though you can relate to the ones who are keeping it real?
It doesn’t mean that you don’t care, or that you feel the need to swear and moan while putting your kids down online every minute of the day. It just means that you have a healthy balance of the dark and the light.
It makes me sad to think that it has become so necessary to paint the perfect picture. The village where parents used to just come together dirt and all seems to have disappeared for many. I am not anti change or anti technology at all, I just observe the negatives as well as the amazing progress.
Social media can trigger a lot of funny feelings for people too .. Instagram is bursting at the virtual seams with carefully curated galleries, and the thing is, there is nothing wrong with that. The issue comes from you comparing yourself to others. The reality though is that the pressure is mostly inside your own head. It is human to be curious about the lives of others, there are healthy ways to be curious and then there are the not so healthy ways that social media can feed.
It’s no secret that I love a curated gallery. I also love to speak up about suicide, grief, cancer, single parenting, depression and the other tough topics that most shy away from. The two are not mutually exclusive, they can co-exist. Keeping it real does not mean that you don’t appreciate beauty. I will still choose the light over the dark every time. (that is how I thrive with anxiety and depression!)
FREEDOM comes from the inner knowing. Knowing that comparison steals your joy, and being able to see others through eyes of love rather than judgement is the ultimate goal. Imagine if we were all a little less hard on each other and ourselves?
I am the first to admit that its just not easy some days. The joy of keeping it real is in the sharing. I too find myself lost in the scrolling some days and nights, before you know it an hour has passed and your energy has been sucked dry! A little self awareness and discipline will help you break this habit. You also need to curate your own feeds so that you are surrounded by those who lift you up!
The joy of keeping it real creates more connection, and it is so much less stressful than trying to project something that is not real!