November .. you have always been my most treasured, favourite time of year. For the first time in a long time, I just didn’t feel the same way about you, I’m sorry.
It may be that I am longing for my much loved and energising tropical escape! Remember that last time in Bali? Maybe it was the reminder that I am more alone now than I have been in a long time. It has a lot to do with the year that was, an intense time of healing and sheltering.
Although I have felt a sense of being alone, this comes hand in hand with increased anxiety and the return of my panic attacks this year. Not surprising considering this.
In true style, I have started to rise again. My spirit ever present, waiting patiently for the healing to restore and patch up the holes in my heart. How can you stay house bound when there is so much beauty to be found in everyday life?
Motherhood is my constant fuel, it keeps me going on the days that I would rather not keep going. So does the underlying belief in myself, and the resilience I consider unbreakable! My lovely family who take the time, only a very small handful but it is not about quantity. I have learned that you can have all the family in the world, and no real family at all.
I have learned a lot this year, and that is a whole new post, coming soon!
So for now, I stay focused on the beauty that outshone the darkness this November xx