Life Lessons

What causes suffering?



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BIG question .. I know! The possible answers are pretty much limitless. Suffering is everywhere, suffering is a part of being alive. Some say that pain and loss are the price we pay for love. Then there are the types of suffering that just defy any logic .. children with cancer, animal cruelty, terrorism. I’m not going any further with that list, this post is ultimately a story of hope, acceptance and grace. Promise ..

“It is your resistance to what is that causes your suffering.

Remember, happiness is allowing yourself to be perfectly OK with what is, rather than wishing for and worrying about what is not.

WHAT IS .. is what’s supposed to be, or it would not be.

The rest is just you, arguing with life.

Think about that for a minute.

This means your suffering only ever occurs when you resist how things are.

You cannot control everything that happens to you, you can only control the way you respond to what happens.

In your response is your power.”

These words .. I think from Buddha (wish I knew the exact source!) have given me so much insight. I have them printed at my desk. I actually think they may be some of the most powerful words ever shared.

It can be incredibly liberating to let go of your resistance to what is. On most occasions, what is cannot actually be changed anyway. Do you find that you spend a lot of time in this space, resisting what is? I certainly can relate, and I think I can also attribute this to a lot of my own pain.

Of course there are things where you will really struggle with this process of surrender. How can we ever just accept that cancer, terrorism, sick little people is just what is? I think that is where we may need to explore this a lot further, and dig even deeper! That is a whole new level of deep EEEK!

Below is a list of the learnings that I have taken from these words:

♡ A lot of suffering (not all) is indeed avoidable. For example .. you can’t make the traffic disappear, you can’t change the awful people in your life, you can’t avoid things like paperwork and life admin .. your power is in your response to these things, you can make it as positive as possible or as hellish as you choose.

♡ Worrying is (usually) a waste of time.

♡ Wishing for things to be different is not always a constructive use of your precious time. It can sometimes be the first step in making changes, most times it is a longing that is never acted upon though. Can you maybe turn the wasted longing into action more often?

♡ Resisting takes a lot more effort than accepting and surrendering.

♡ Maybe I am not yet 100% there with this .. I still think that there are some things we need to resist.

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